Usually, I wouldn't draw attention to something as self-serving as a "happy-birthday-to-me" post. But this isn't usually, I'm turning 24!
I'm having cupcakes for breakfast chased by a bottle of moet from bug. I'm having lunch with my father. I'm applying for a new home.
.... and if you're a fan of the roots or a good friend of mine you'll understand how much I love this song and why I just couldn't help myself.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
If you were wondering what i've been up to lately, the simplest and most honest response I could afford would be that I've been thinking.
Flipping thoughts and feelings back and forth all the time rarely amounts to solution, and today I cleaned the house and made some tea and sat on my bedroom floor staring out the window when a solution finally came.
I spend hours a day wondering if I'm in the right place, if I'm using my time effectively, feeling an emptiness that somehow cannot be filled. I don't know what I'm meant to be doing or why I am here.
Of course I know that suffering is a natural part of existence. It isn't surprising that I find myself inconsolable when a relationship is ending though I wish it wasn't, to feel guilty when I wish I could take back something regrettable that was done or said in the past. What is seemingly most difficult for me to come to terms with is that i am not in control of any other person or any given situation, and I never will be.
Leaves were falling, leaves falling in their own time, falling back to the earth and nothing could hold them back. They were dying, and with such grace and ease- it begged the question: what's the point in fighting separation? Knowing it's inevitability, I should naturally accept that things both come and fall away from my life in their season. This rings true in so many aspects of life- my relationships, my work, but moreover; a new or outworn idea of who I think I am.
The emptiness, the ambivalence, it's all a part of it. It's part of my life so I have to acknowledge the union of all life in turn, and give way to the sense of a separate self. Just let it be, trust in the natural order of things. Smile.
Posted by ✚ at 8:20 PM
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
-From the Desiderata
-From the Desiderata
Posted by ✚ at 10:44 PM
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Monday, September 6, 2010
“Let us toast to animal pleasures, to escapism, to rain on the roof and instant coffee, to unemployment insurance and library cards, to absinthe and good-hearted landlords, to music and warm bodies and contraceptives…and to the “good life”, whatever it is and wherever it happens to be.”
--Hunter S. Thompson
Posted by ✚ at 9:37 AM